Weigh in #1

This post may get a little ehhhh TMI for you guys out there so you may want to skip down lol.
Anway last night I felt good ol' TOM coming on so I was nervous about my weigh in this morning.  I know from experience that I can put on a good 3-5 pounds just during that week. I actually ended up weighing in early afternoon because this is my day to be lazy where Lindsey completely takes care of Braiden and Grandma gets to rest (I feel I should clarify, she takes care of him EVERYDAY after school and through the night and on Saturday's as well but this weekend I gave her a bit of a break and let her go on a mini trip with Jared and Friday she went to a movie with a friend after Braiden was asleep) buttt you get the idea of what I am saying.
Well the first time I stepped on the scale I was leaning so I didn't trust the reading so I stepped on again. and....

-4 pounds :)

Let me tell ya I worked hard for those. Next week is TOM week so I am not looking forward to that weigh in but thank god for small miracles.I am so happy and proud.
I am going to enjoy my day off today and get back to it tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone who took time to read this.

Tomorrow is weigh in #1

So tomorrow I get to step on the scale and I am a little nervous. I am having a very blah day. I feel down and crappy and I feel like I am never going to get where I want to be. 
I have been addicted to watching other youtube weight loss videos for the past few days. Why is it that you think well people are going to be bad looking overweight?  Nope, most of these girls are beautiful even if they are overweight.  Am I doomed to be unattractive (my own standards)? I have so much fat on my face that it looks like my eyes sag and I promise you they do not when I am not 269 pounds.  It could be just from depression and stress as well.  I am going to force myself to work out and talk myself through working out as hard as I can. I haven't consumed near my water goal and that has me worried that if I drink a ton tonight that its going to sabotage my weigh in tomorrow. Ugh! Hey that is something to research.


More later...today is a good writing day.

Kristy<3

The hardest part

I fully believe the hardest part of a journey is getting started.  I feel like I have so far to go that I will never get there.  I am pretty hard on myself knowing two years ago I had gotten down to 235 and now I am 34 pounds heavier.  It seems like it takes forever.  I wish I could work out 6 or more hours a day to get the results contestants on the BL achieve but my body just seemsss to not be built that way.  I can't use the excuse of being old because many of them are older than me :\   I remember it took me nearly two weeks the last time to get in the full swing of things and for working out to become automatic.  I am still in the stage where I have to talk myself into working out. I mean once I am there and get going I am fine but boy getting on the machine is daunting. I did manage to do 30 minutes on the elliptical alternating between level 4 & 12. I walked on the treadmill 26 minutes at 2.4-2.9 and doing incline intervals.  I cannot walk fast. It feels like I am going to pass out and I have shin splints.  It sucks having it take 24.50 to do one mile. I see people doing 12 minute miles and I really don't see that happening any time soon lol.  I am using My fitness pal and it is helping me A LOT on counting the calories instead of "guessing" if I am eating ok.  I am still coming up with a plan on which day to weigh in and which day to take off. I know I normally do not like to take off on the day I weigh in because if I am up or the same I like to go vent on the machines.  I also really have only been doing cardio. I did go out and get a kettlebell (10 pounds) that really helped me firm up my arms and shoulders last time. I just sit around while I am doing nothing and lift it until I can't anymore.  I want to wait until the cardio is just a tad bit easier to add weights.  I plan too in about a week and a half.  One thing, is if anyone does read this I love to write so this blog will be pretty active. It may contain things emotionally that I am going through because as we all know this isn't just a physical journey.  Well until next time.

Kristy<3

SW:  269
1st goal:  250 by May 1st
GW: 155